This is a spontaneous post as I had not planned to write anything on or about Mother’s Day….but…I just had a lovely brief conversation with my neighbor. He lost his wife to ovarian cancer late last year. He said he was on his way to the cemetery to visit her grave, place flowers, etc. – a practice that many people do not keep around the country but one I’ve seen kept here in New England. We spoke about his daughter who is graduating from college and hopes to follow in her mom’s footsteps and be a teacher. I was thinking about the daughter (K) who is entering a major milestone in her life, without her mother. I remember graduating from college and clinging to my mom the way my toddler does to me now! My mom was reassuring and encouraging and also with gentle force (is that an oxymoron?) pushed me out into the world….now I’m married, mothering, teaching, and living a pretty good life. Without my mom and her advice, role-modeling, feedback, encouragement, and love I would not have a Ph.D., I would not be married, I would not have a son. She really was my sounding board every step of the way in life. And as the adage goes, my mom always knew best (even if I didn’t admit it until 30 years later!).
I have missed my mom during some milestones because I’ve lost her mind to Alzheimer’s … she was physically present, but missed my wedding, my dissertation defense, the birth of my son, and some other important times when I needed to “go home to mommy.” I’m happy to still be able to call her and to see her and hug & kiss her. While I long for us to be able to chat the way we used to I’m glad for what I have. I’m also glad to have a plethora of friends who stand in as “mom,” “older sister,” and “aunt” when I need someone’s sage advice.
This is in memory of moms who have passed away, moms who are mentally not here with us, moms who are far away … Appreciate, love, call, hug, kiss, and remember your mom today and every day (because moms are moms every day)!
To the moms, grandmas, aunts, godmothers, sisters, cousins, girlfriends who help to raise children everywhere HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!