Poverty: 3-5 Minute Child Chats about Social Justice

20170820_111007.jpgParents and guardians should be brave and create space for conversations with their children about the important topics of our society. We can no longer live in silos nor can we live in silence.

Last month I wrote that I would be sharing ways in which I have conversations with our 7-year-old son about topics related to social justice (and equity, acceptance, helping others, advocacy, etc.). My 1st disclaimer is that we live in a multicultural city in a neighborhood that is multiethnic and multi-income. We have many opportunities for us to engage with our community and have experiences that lend themselves well to discussing social justice. We also travel by car to other states and ask him to observe and ask questions. I am, after all, a social worker with a sociological imagination! My 2nd disclaimer is that we have enough resources to do what we need to do in life and a little bit more. Finally, my 3rd disclaimer is that our son is naturally curious and asks many questions, so it makes these conversations easier to initiate, but him being 7, the conversations end quickly because his attention span is short!

It is difficult for many children to understand poverty. Many parents & guardians do not discuss money with their children. So understanding that not having enough resources is connected to so many institutional and societal factors is complicated. To just say “Well…their parents do not have a job…” is such an insufficient explanation. Such a complicated issue (and the same goes for racism, sexism, disability, homophobia, etc., etc., etc.) require exposure that is consistent and wrapped in age-appropriate conversations that earnestly display your values of equity and justice.

So here are some examples of what we have done so far. What we do is very simple and we hope that as he gets older our experiences and conversations will become more complex and meaningful. I welcome your experiences and questions:

  1. We start with us & him and our & his money:
    1. We tell him how much he has, how much grandpa sent him, etc. We tell him that he has to save, give, and then he can spend a small portion of it.
    2. When it comes to giving, we make suggestions and then let him choose. We do not give online because we want him to have the experience of going somewhere to make the donation in person. It is usually at church, but he has also chosen to give to someone standing on the street corner or give to a jar at the store counter.
      1. “We believe that helping others is important.” “What do you think?” “Do you like it when someone helps you? Do you have an example of a time someone helped you?” “Why is it important to you?” “How do you feel when you help someone else?”
    3. When it comes to spending, we have taught him how to read prices. We talk about not buying more than what you need. We use the word greed (Eric Carle’s Greedy Python can be used in many ways!)
  2. We have served meals through a program that operates out of our church for people with not enough resources. We have done this on a weekend and on Thanksgiving (not as consistently as I would like). We tell our son what we are going to do and explain to him who comes to eat a meal
    1. “Do you know what we are going to do today?” “Do you know why we are going?” “What questions do you have?”
  3. We donate books, clothing, toys, etc. to a local organization and to the school when they collect coats, toys, etc.
    1. “Let’s look at what you have…what can we share with someone who doesn’t have any of this or enough of any of this?” “Can you imagine not having coat/gloves in winter?” “How do you think the child who gets this coat will feel?”
  4. We have conversations about the people we see on the streets holding signs.
    1. He has initiated these conversations. He asks why people stand on the street with signs asking for money. Our responses have varied, but the answer to his questions usually starts something like: “Sometimes people are unable to work and if you are unable to work you probably do not have enough money to pay rent or buy groceries.”  “Sometimes people cannot work because they are disabled…”
  5. Finally, we admit our privilege. We cannot have an honest chat about poverty if we do not talk about our own privilege. It is often uncomfortable, but it is part of what needs to happen.

Remember: 

  1. Keep it simple and short.
  2. Use words, language, and experiences you know your child can understand and handle. Try to relate it back to what they may already know (being helpful, being kind, being fair). AND use a book (some suggestions below).
  3. Do not overwhelm them by trying to do too much or have too many experiences in a short period.
  4. Do not force it. It should happen with the natural context of what you already do. The New Year is a good time to start new habits of justice.
  5. Be consistent and nurture their curiosity and their desire to engage in acts of social justice.

Children’s books related to this topic:

  1. Maddi’s Fridge by Lois Brandt
  2. The family under the bridge by Natalie Savage Carlson
  3. Poverty and Hunger by Hanane Kai
  4. On our street: Our first talk about poverty by Jillian Roberts and Jaime Casap
  5. Everybody can help somebody by Ron Hall and Denver Moore

 

 

 

5 minute child chats about social justice

The other day I realized that it only takes 3-5 minutes to begin to teach our children about social justice and equity.  As a female social work educator of color raising a brown boy in the U.S. this is very important to me. But I also realized ALL parents can do this. And the way to do it is very simple. In the next few blog posts I will be sharing examples of how I have done this. Our son is very curious and is a keen observer. He asks lots of questons which provides opportunity for us to teach him about diverse populations, inequity, justice, acceptance, and social action. 

Stay tuned for specific lessons. But for now, here are a few tips to get you started:

1. listen to your child and answer their questions. Invite them to ask questions. Peak their curiosity. 

2. Don’t ignore them or brush them off. 

3. Don’t hush them. 

4. Don’t shy away from uncomfortable topics. 

5. Don’t be afraid to look up what you don’t know or refer to a friend. 

6. Keep it simple. Use a children’s book or story to help you. 

Between Privilege and Vulnerability: Riding the Current Storms

joy-comes-in-the-morningThere have been quite a few articles written about the negative emotional and physical effects of post-election trauma.  Many people have reported an increase in high blood pressure, migraines, heart issues (palpitations, etc.), generalized anxiety and stress, and symptoms that mimic depression.  It seems like the nation is experiencing a crisis similar to that of being engaged in a war. It also seems as if for many people, this is the first time they have ever experienced such deep confusing maddening distress.

As a woman of color who was born and is living in the U.S., raising children of color, and married to an immigrant I can fully relate. My distress is as high as anyone else’s. The difference is maybe that I straddle privilege and oppression with coping skills that I have had a lifetime to develop, such that my blood pressure or heart or overall health have yet to be affected. While I feel enraged or sad at times, fearful and confused at others, I am not steeping in any of those emotions.  I do not have that luxury. I do not want to speak for all people of color or other vulnerable and oppressed identities living in the U.S., but I (we) cannot afford to be distressed to the point of being sick, hospitalized, and/or immobilized.  Further, and quite plainly – we are accustomed to this type of distress – for some of us, it is part of our daily living. And still, we rise and press on towards the goal.

I know the distress is real. I want to honor that there is pain, confusion, anger, sadness, fear. I also want to say that many of us who have been vulnerable and oppressed for some time know that “this too shall pass.” My great-grandparents and grandparents and parents did not survive racial and gender discrimination in the deep south by lying down and moaning. They did not have the luxury of sick time or mental health days. From them, I (and other people like me), learned how to press on and cope; how to find joy in the morning. So until “joy comes in the morning,” from my humble social work self, here are some tips for my friends who are experiencing pain, sadness, anger, confusion, discomfort, uncertainty for the first time:

  1. Keep breathing and engage in some self-care (and care for those around you). No social justice activist is any good if you are sick and weak and down-and-out. Stay well, healthy, and focused.
  2. Surround yourself with like-minded, caring, productive people. Together you can find comfort, vent, and strategize for the future.
  3. Call on a higher power. We are only human and can only do so much – meditate, pray, find a way to connect yourself spiritually or religiously to something outside of your human earthly self.
  4. Get a soundtrack. Music, art, poetry are all useful forms of protest as well as useful forms of uplift, care, and relief. My current soundtrack is a mix of Destiny Child’s “I’m a Survivor” and Kirk Franklin’s “Revolution.” I gotta keep a mix of hip-hop/rap and gospel to stay sane and focused.
  5. Find inspiration in those who came before us and did this work in the face of extreme obstacles. Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass, Sojourner Truth, Nat Turner, Rosa Parks, Malcolm X, and Martin Luther King Jr. to name a few.
  6. Act locally. The national and global picture is important AND overwhelming. Take action in your city/town, your state, your local schools. Get connected with what is happening in your area. Small bits may be more manageable and help to ease some of the distress of looking at the larger situation.
  7. Limit your social media and hard news intake. Really. Even as a professor who needs to keep up with the current events, I am limiting how much I log on and turn on. I still know what is happening and I am still able to act and I am less stressed about the daily changing landscape and environment.
  8. Don’t engage in identity politics that divides who you are from others. We are an intersectional people and our battles are all important. Combine efforts, work together, move forward.
  9. Remember that there have been many eras of social injustice. Many eras of social movements. And many victories for people who are distressed, oppressed, and vulnerable.
  10. Finally, remember joy does come in the morning. It may be the morning of next week or next month. But joy is counted in each small victory, and waking up with the ability to help make change is a victory for today!

 

This is my 10 cents on riding the storms of today.

What’s your self-care and care for others plan? Who is inspiring you to stay focused and fight the good fight?  What’s on your soundtrack during these trying times? How are you coping and pushing up and forward?